Are you feeling aimless? You may have a lovely house, a good job, a relationship, a family – however, life seems empty. You get up in the morning, get ready, go to work, have a lunch break, get back to work, go home – the same routine day in and day out, and you feel aimless.
You might have a hectic family life after work, managing your children’s extra-curricular activities (sports training, music lessons, dance classes) and their homework. On top of that, preparing dinner, feed the family, cleaning up, helping them get ready for bed, and bedtime storytelling. And yet when you are just about to sit down and relax, it is time to go to bed yourself. You lie down in bed and ask yourself, “what is life all about anyway?”
You may also have extra burdens and concerns for your extended family and friends, which can often seem too much to carry, with unending problems causing you to lose perspective in life and feel aimless.
WHAT CAN YOU DO TO DEAL WITH FEELING AIMLESS
Most people have felt aimless at one stage of their life. Feeling aimless does not happen overnight and can happen at different stages of your life. Therefore, it is essential for you from time to time, to stop and reflect and re-align your life so that you won’t get to the stage of feeling aimless. However, what do you need to reflect on, and how do you re-align your life?
Here are some practical steps that may help you to reflect on and re-align your life:
1. Having a purpose/meaning in life
People often feel aimless because they have lost their purpose/meaning in life. Feeling aimless does not necessarily mean you don’t have anything to do or do not know what to do; even when you are very busy, you still can feel aimless.
So you need to “stop, revive, survive”! Meaning:
- You need to stop and think about what your purpose in life is – through your work, relationship, family life, children, etc. Heaving a clear purpose in your life will change your perspective and expectations on how you live your life.
- Revive yourself by doing something you are passionate about, whether in self-care or doing something you like to do for/with others. It is equally essential for you to attend to your diet and sleeping patterns because your physical well-being will impact your emotional and mental state.
- Having a clear purpose in life and balancing with your passions will help you survive the challenges and the daily grind of life and feeling aimless.
2. Set goals in your life
Having a purpose in life will influence how you set goals in your life. What do you want to achieve with what you have and do? – in your work, your relationship, parenting your children, your single life, social life, etc. Start with small goals, and then add another goal once you have achieved it. Setting a goal and working towards it will give you a sense of achievement rather than feeling aimless.
3. Create a sense of belonging
Losing the sense of belonging is another factor in feeling aimless. All of us need to have a sense of belonging in a community, whether in a family, a group of friends, work colleagues, spiritual gatherings, etc. Create a community where you can meet with each other in person or online regularly, and avoid using technology while you are with them, as that will defeat the purpose of the community.
4. It is happier to give than to receive
You may feel aimless because you have lost the satisfaction and happiness in giving. Sometimes in our busyness, we become self-centred and focused on what we can gain while we have the opportunity to do it. Thus, you slowly stop looking at or noticing what happens around you. Giving to those in need, and giving beyond what you can and should, will bring joy and meaning to your life. Giving doesn’t have to be in a big way. Small things, such as giving way to others on the road, can accumulate your happiness and meaning in life.
5. Count what you have!
One of the traps we sometimes fall into is comparing ourselves with others who seem to have a better life than us. Comparing yourself to others can cause a lot of discouragement, disappointment, frustration, anger and feel aimless. Learn to focus on what you “have” rather than what you “don’t have”; this will help you be grateful for what you have in your life. Counting and naming one blessing each day will help you feel happier and lighter, and it will impact your approach to life and your outlook positively.
Remember, feeling aimless is a normal experience each person will go through in life. Feeling aimless is not the end – you can choose to practise the practical steps above or seek professional help if your feeling of aimlessness is unbearable for you. You are welcome to give your comments in the column below.