Being non-judgemental is very hard to do because we don’t live without any influence from each other, and we tend to judge others more often than not. Interestingly, many don’t realise that being judgemental will make your life unhappy, whereas being non-judgemental will bring happiness.
WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF BEING JUDGEMENTAL?
You might wonder what makes some people more judgemental than others. Factors include (but are not limited to):
1. Unhappiness with self
Often I discover that those who tend to be judgemental are not happy with their own life. As they are not satisfied with themselves, they become judgemental of others.
2. Jealousy
Because they are not happy, they quickly become jealous of those who have a better life than themselves. It is a vicious cycle – their unhappiness makes them jealous, and their jealousy makes them unhappy.
3. Feeling insecure
Insecure people typically become judgemental of others because by criticising others, they try to make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings and limitation.
4. Lack of confidence
People who are lacking confidence feel threatened by others easily, and therefore often try to hide their vulnerability by being judgemental. They believe that by doing so, others will think they are more superior.
HOW TO BECOME NON-JUDGEMENTAL
1. Name it
Name your negative thoughts and your ill-feeling towards others, because by naming it, you break its power.
2. What is the core issue?
Try to ask yourself what the negative thoughts and feelings relate to in your life? You may need to travel back as far as you can to find the core issue of you being judgemental.
3. Work on your issues
Work on your core issues. For instance, jot down the differences between the person you judge with the other person from your past, so you don’t project your past issues on the present matters.
4. Self-acceptance
It would be best if you accept your vulnerability because by doing so, it will enable you to accept others’ vulnerability.
5. Find your happiness
Try it out! It will make you feel good about yourself, and as you feel good about yourself, your life will be happier.
Sometimes you may need professional help to work on your core issues so you can finish the unfinished business from your past. If you have any comment or questions, you can use this column below, and I am happy to discuss further with you.